Last Christmas, Mikaela & Katrianna decided to give "store-bought" gifts. They did lots of planning & plotting to pick out the perfect presents for everybody on their lists. But there was one in particular that was extra special. It was given for the sole purpose of inspiring jealous rage in my husband, their beloved father. 
They'd heard about my long-ago ardent admiration of Robert Redford and found a Our masquerade continued for a few days until finally we gathered for the big premiere. {OK, ok, the second big premiere, 39 years after its original release in 1969...back when Roberto was in his prime... & I was a real babe (?) } M&K giggled and exchanged meaningful elbow nudges, watching Dad's face -- and not the movie -- intently for the first 5 minutes. Golly! was this gonna be good, their expressions asserted as though they were rosy-cheeky subjects in a Norman Rockwell painting.
You see, despite knowing the surprising truth that my infamous affair potential with RR was never realized even when I'd been oh-so-young and single & that The Way We Were was an almost daily -- if primarily one-sided -- romance (his photo was taped to the inside of my junior high school locker), I'm now also old & wise enough to take any form of flattery, real or imagined, that comes my way. So I was fully enjoying the attention, however misplaced.
All went well, except for M&K's repeatedly expressed dismay that Mom had ever thought a mustached outlaw was attractive, until Chris forgot his role in our family drama. And actually started watching the movie. Hadn't figured on the fact that it was a Western - a guy flick - replete with things blowing up & only a smattering of witty dialogue. Jealousy did rear its ugly head, but only long enough to block everyone else's view as it moved up for a spot closer to the action.
Where was the agonized chagrin? What happened to the impassioned despair?
...Suspicious fury? ...Burning ire?? ...Wretched despondency???
Replaced. By Chris' shushing the girls so he could better hear Butch & Sundance's intricate robbery schemes.
Disappointed, M&K decided to move on to a more satisfying activity that would meet or possibly even exceed their expectations for an entertaining evening, like sorting socks. Meanwhile, their dad contentedly downed the rest of the cold popcorn while noting the locations of The Wild Bunch's secret hideouts. And I was left sitting there, wondering how to revive a sense of rivalry in Chris now that The Kid is 72 years old.
Dang it. Ya know, before the movie, I used to feel gratified if Chris could actually stay awake for two consecutive hours on one of our road trips, stimulated and amused by my brilliant conversation & the unfettered opportunity to gaze lovingly at my profile as I drove. Now I discover my husband's attentions can so easily be captivated by another? And all it takes is a cowboy hat, a six shooter & some nifty train jumping maneuvers.
Not sure my ego can take any more of our daughters' gifted-ness. I've put in a request that the kids return to homemade presents this Christmas -- they're so much more cherished & meaning
